F.R.I.E.N.D.S. ---- Season 11

There was just me before, a sudden shift from my place of genesis, to Mars…..that’s what it looks like. A place where I did not know anyone, the species weren’t like me at all. They did have two ears………but couldn’t hear, they had two hands that moved forward to shake hands with me, marking the start of our so called friendship. Just to find out later, after 8 long years, it was a lie. I wouldn’t say there are bad….we all are, or worth being a friends with. But yes, they fit in the chameleon family, if I would be sketching them in my paper.
Under the notion that this was it…….my life 600 kms away from my dreamland, I drew closer to them and they, to me. Sometimes they walked me home as they thought this is what friends do. Knowing that I have, what I call is crossing phobia, they used to leave me alone while crossing the lane. I…….yelling their names, made my throat go sore. No one reached in time to help me cross too. At least ‘they’ could have waited for me.
After years of persuasion and possible attempts done on my parents, I was sent back to the place where I belonged. Never thought this could happen, but it did…..surprising!
A month later, got engaged in my studies. The environment around me was like Central Perk………where I met my Ross, Joey and Chandler. I was back among Homo-sapiens. The ones who understood my language, similar prototypes. I was sometimes Rachael, interested to be Monica but embraced being Phoebe. One of them……..no, we all were one.
There was no need to walk across halls or bump into their rooms to meet them. Cause we were attached to each other through umbilical cords……….same species you see but from different mothers. I’m sure their mom’s shared the same view as mine, cause we all are similar……………very similar.
Some great philosopher quoted “a friend in need is a fiend indeed”, so are we supposed to pick out friends who can reach out only at times of our trouble. NO…….this quote misfits my friend-o-logical definition, my friends not only stand beside me at times of trouble but mess up and screw each and every second of my day. They are like freaking shadows, spirits haunting my life in a positive, sweet way….GOOD FOR ME!!!
We are like those Siamese twins…only difference is we are more than two. Problems prevail in each ones life; an elderly man/woman said “if there is a problem, there is also a solution to it”. When I’m fed up of thinking, so is Chandler, Ross & Joey, intelligence is distributed to us evenly. But when we hold group discussions………….we have hundreds of them at our disposal………GROUP DISCUSSION is our super-power. They are the best, the best of the best as there is no superlative to the word best.
I do not say they will take a bullet for me………….but, yes, they will surely make an attempt to snatch and grab the gun away from the person wanting to shoot me. Aaaaaaaaa…….I’m smiling, even though FRIENDS was over within 10 seasons, I’m living the 11th season of MY F.R.I.E.N.D.S
Isn’t that cool enough……..naaaaahhhhhhh………….its SUPER-COOL!

The Rewind Button….

It’s good being nostalgic,
running up and down,
the reel of memories.
The rewind button,
fascinates me.

There’s one moment,
in everyone’s life.
That makes you,
realize.
Out of the million flashes,
you picturise.
There’s one image,
stuck in your,
deep eyes.

Deep, very deep,
the thought,
doesn’t seem shallow.
But, there are these,
notes, words,
signs and music,
it tends to follow.
Making you think,
reminding you,
again and again.
What you left,
passed by,
many years ago.

It irks you,
then and there.
But,
its totally not fair.
To ignore the past reflection of you.
That makes you smile,
atleast for a while.
Hoping you could,
be the same.
Walking down the,
same lane.
Closer to the one,
you cared for.
Who now,
is nowhere,
but a complete stranger.

Erasing this thought,
has become very difficult.
Letting it be,
that notion itself,
is terrible.

My heart is obsessed,
with it.
My mind wants to live,
with it.
I can’t get enough,
of it.
I fail to make them understand,
damn it.

But, again I say…..

It’s good being nostalgic,
running up and down,
the reel of memories.
I’m very much sure,
the rewind button,
fascinates,
you and me…..

The white Balloon……….

A string tied to my finger,
which holds,
my white balloon.
Trying to slip away from my hand,
my white balloon.
Turning me nostalgic,
my white balloon.
Thinking of my father,
while gazing,
my white balloon.
Picturing the wee smile on my face,
when he surprised me with,
a white balloon.
The purity of love,
bestowed on me by my father,
symbolizes,
my white balloon.
He is my guardian and I, his angel,
with a tinge of hope to fly.
His calm, lovely,
Deep eyes,
Love to see me happy,
Depicts a picture taken,
with a white balloon.
Happiness as a word,
doesn’t define the feeling that fills me,
while I draw a smiley writing ‘miss you dad’,
on my white balloon.
I untie,
my white balloon.
Don’t want to, but,
I do let it go,
my white balloon.
Dad will surely get the message,
That his daughter loves him enormously,
Promises,
my white balloon.
As it takes up its flight,
my white balloon…..

Feared one………

There’s a white creep,
A snake crawls,
Making it look like a
Striped black and white wall.
The abstinence of the snake,
Makes me want to think,
How can that be,
How can he not bite you,
He has a right to,
Cause your life is his now,
He is at his best,
He has occupied the dark place known as heart,
In your chest.
Your solely responsible for your mess,
You fail,
You lose,
If only you could have made an attempt,
To clean you heart,
Now that’s a case apart.
You live in fear,
You live in vain,
Everyday.
Thinking, confused,
Of what to do or not to.
If you could just let it go,
Try and get back to yourself,
Throw out the feared snake in you,
Or you’ll handicap yourself,
Emotionally,
You don’t have too.
It’s your call!

YOU........

A fighter always wins,
He strives to be one.
Walking with or apart from the world,
Prod he stands.
The ones behind, at the starting point,
It would be insensitive,
To call them losers,
There are many things on shore
On whom they can blame their failures.
Which they do,
The creator, the nature, the teacher,
Making a voice unheard,
Which says its, ‘YOU’.

WAKE UP ……………. DID YOU?

Today, while I watched Wake Up Sid, there were tears in my eyes. Just ignoring my watering diamonds I said goodbye to my friends and walked to the church giving company to my mum for mass. Not so interested in the preaching, I was just sitting straight and wondering…………. Just then, a gamut of thoughts rushing in my head. I so wanted to note them down…….. it was the only way I could remember this moment later, some moments can be captured through pictures….some by words.

It wouldn’t be acceptable that I text it on my cellphone, it would insult the Priest, but not God……..cause he truly understands me. Our connection is very deep, he knows how much he means to me. I know I’m one of those lucky people he listens to with eager ears. Whenever I enter the church he showers me with millions of ideas, it’s like my creative abode. But the point is what was I thinking about?

I was thinking about ME…..

There were so many traits I shared with Sid & Ayesha (wake up Sid). A mixture of both. Watching Sid, it reminded me how lucky I am, though I knew I was the luckiest in my huge big fat ugly family. I have everything I need…..there is nothing of necessity that today I don’t have, it also includes the materialistic things. It suddenly struck me I don’t have anything to complain about. Thanks to my Dad…just a phone call away I have my wishes parceled to me.

There was a time when my friends, younger to me ran pass me, earning big bucks. And I…..studying for more degrees. I was feeling down cause I wanted that lifestyle, earning & spending…..spending. But today I don’t feel the same way. I need not wear branded labels or shoes from Prada. I’m weird and unique in my own special way and very proud of it.

Just like Ayesha, I do have goals and the feeling to set one, nothing has been like it. When I discuss it with my brother he teases me & ends up saying “you’re a dumb kid you know”. But I love being one. People’s lives are so black & white, mine is colorful the reason being I have more of childlike qualities……..still…..

Some people act smart, some change themselves entirely so that they are accepted by others…………..I act dumb because I love to be pampered and sweetly spoken to, like wise I’m street-smart. We are bonding strongly these days….he talks about his girlfriends and work etc etc. hinting me that somewhere my brother thinks I’m mature enough ……..

Lastly, I ended up thinking why these thoughts today, now?

Is it because I’m going to enter a new phase from Monday or is it that God wants me to be happy for taking a big step forward, a new endeavor of my life….a transition from a college student to a working woman. WOW! That was quick. Even though I lead my perfect life, some lucky ones like me do seek something every single day, that is… STRENGTH…….to live up to the expectations of my parents so that they convince their brains that I truly deserve this life and they did not miss out on anything in my conditioning. Not the Heart…………….cause hearts are always meant to love, but, the mind needs to be convinced before it turns us into dubious creatures.

I know these written words are not going to help me through the battles of my life as life is about raking and clearing a way, a path to eternity. I do think deeply as my deep thoughts have always saved me from taking the wrong decisions, and as my icon said “ask questions, if you do not, you’ll never grow up, if you don’t get answers to your questions, make up one”.

Being AUDREY, is not that easy, many people have helped me unintentionally to be what I am today. It’s a group effort. May be I’m not a rock star, but at least a pebble on the shore. After the mass ended I changed into my sleepy, droopy face so that people don’t ask me questions as to why was I dreaming. People get ideas at weird places isn’t it? I get mine in churches. I was feeling content. As I was leaving I did question myself,

DID YOU WAKE UP………………..AUDREY?

And my heart responded,

AUDREY JUST WOKE UP!