WAKE UP ……………. DID YOU?

Today, while I watched Wake Up Sid, there were tears in my eyes. Just ignoring my watering diamonds I said goodbye to my friends and walked to the church giving company to my mum for mass. Not so interested in the preaching, I was just sitting straight and wondering…………. Just then, a gamut of thoughts rushing in my head. I so wanted to note them down…….. it was the only way I could remember this moment later, some moments can be captured through pictures….some by words.

It wouldn’t be acceptable that I text it on my cellphone, it would insult the Priest, but not God……..cause he truly understands me. Our connection is very deep, he knows how much he means to me. I know I’m one of those lucky people he listens to with eager ears. Whenever I enter the church he showers me with millions of ideas, it’s like my creative abode. But the point is what was I thinking about?

I was thinking about ME…..

There were so many traits I shared with Sid & Ayesha (wake up Sid). A mixture of both. Watching Sid, it reminded me how lucky I am, though I knew I was the luckiest in my huge big fat ugly family. I have everything I need…..there is nothing of necessity that today I don’t have, it also includes the materialistic things. It suddenly struck me I don’t have anything to complain about. Thanks to my Dad…just a phone call away I have my wishes parceled to me.

There was a time when my friends, younger to me ran pass me, earning big bucks. And I…..studying for more degrees. I was feeling down cause I wanted that lifestyle, earning & spending…..spending. But today I don’t feel the same way. I need not wear branded labels or shoes from Prada. I’m weird and unique in my own special way and very proud of it.

Just like Ayesha, I do have goals and the feeling to set one, nothing has been like it. When I discuss it with my brother he teases me & ends up saying “you’re a dumb kid you know”. But I love being one. People’s lives are so black & white, mine is colorful the reason being I have more of childlike qualities……..still…..

Some people act smart, some change themselves entirely so that they are accepted by others…………..I act dumb because I love to be pampered and sweetly spoken to, like wise I’m street-smart. We are bonding strongly these days….he talks about his girlfriends and work etc etc. hinting me that somewhere my brother thinks I’m mature enough ……..

Lastly, I ended up thinking why these thoughts today, now?

Is it because I’m going to enter a new phase from Monday or is it that God wants me to be happy for taking a big step forward, a new endeavor of my life….a transition from a college student to a working woman. WOW! That was quick. Even though I lead my perfect life, some lucky ones like me do seek something every single day, that is… STRENGTH…….to live up to the expectations of my parents so that they convince their brains that I truly deserve this life and they did not miss out on anything in my conditioning. Not the Heart…………….cause hearts are always meant to love, but, the mind needs to be convinced before it turns us into dubious creatures.

I know these written words are not going to help me through the battles of my life as life is about raking and clearing a way, a path to eternity. I do think deeply as my deep thoughts have always saved me from taking the wrong decisions, and as my icon said “ask questions, if you do not, you’ll never grow up, if you don’t get answers to your questions, make up one”.

Being AUDREY, is not that easy, many people have helped me unintentionally to be what I am today. It’s a group effort. May be I’m not a rock star, but at least a pebble on the shore. After the mass ended I changed into my sleepy, droopy face so that people don’t ask me questions as to why was I dreaming. People get ideas at weird places isn’t it? I get mine in churches. I was feeling content. As I was leaving I did question myself,

DID YOU WAKE UP………………..AUDREY?

And my heart responded,

AUDREY JUST WOKE UP!