My Last Goodbye (mi ultimo adios)

Every day I look in the mirror,
It’s not me but I see a murderer.
I stabbed my heart several times,
You wounded my heart with your beautiful lies.
An unexpected death I believe,
It lost the urge to live the moment you stepped out,
We got disconnected.

I feel the love but unhappy I stay,
I sat alone all this time but could not convince you to love me back.
Never forced you to do so, never will.
Your mind and my heart had already entered the fray,
When sighted each other.
You won and are still winning,
By keeping a congenial distance, it’s humiliating.
You are forever in denial.
The mixed reactions you showed shot me to pieces,
Couldn’t figure out where they were trying to direct me.

I'm tired of waiting for you to come back,
I tell my mind and my heart everyday
It’s not going to happen.
I have to stop this somehow, it’s now or never,
I don't deserve to suffer,
I'm not the one who turned my back on you.
I was the only one who remained faithful
And still I am and not you.
Maybe I never promised you the moon
And the stars, as others do.
But I did promise you a future,
A blissful life, you and me together.

I'd burn a million of those bills with posters on it for you.
Now here I am, viewing a million photographs,
I wish I had set them ablaze,
I was stranded midway.
I stashed them instead,
My love was only for you,
Anyways it's better left unsaid.

The time we spent together at a stretch,
The 7 yrs I had you by my side.
It's not easy to forget it down the line.
But certainly you have.
All I wanted was a chance,
You refused though.
It reflected on your face,
I was misfortunate, five times in a row.


I miss you, I will always do,
It’s like a disease, I never want a cure for.
I miss you standing beside me,
I miss us posing with your hand around me.
Your hand was like a cradle, I felt safe and carefree.
And now you shy away.
It’s not your fault.
Even if I move on, I’ll always be truly yours.

Life will unravel in its own time,
It knits its own design.
Once upon a time she thought I needed you,
To bring to light a new color, she entangled us.
That is why I met you, what a misery,
Why?
I ask my destiny.

I have settled my thoughts about you,
I know what I feel.
Unanswered questions still clutter my mind,
You need not worry.
I'll answer them myself,
It does not make a difference,
Even if I’m wrong,
I want to put them at rest.
They’ve caused me a lot of distress.

This is the end of our story,
No more guilt to carry.
I’m done with you.
I can’t go on like this.
I live through a vicious cycle,
Round and round, I’ll be back where I started from.
I recover from the pain but later,
It haunts me back again.

Anyways good luck I hope I never meet you ever again.